Hurricane Jane
by PixieGirl17
Summary: Sequel to 'Innocence Twice Torn'. Now that Larxene is gradually making her way through her boxing career she's beginning to have another little surprise along the way to her rehabilitation...


**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts

**Hurricane Jane**

For **Beaverleigh**

_Cordelia has told me plenty about the power of hurricanes. I have to admit they are powerful things. I have never witnessed one but to know that she's lived through one when she was a child I know that they can be pretty terrifying if they terrified and still terrify her to this day. They terrify her enough to want to warn me about them. She comes from a culture where they still believe in spirits and Gods which control the waters and the earth. Sometimes when they are angered by humans, she says, these hurricanes come along as a kind of punishment, to exert their anger upon the world. Sometimes she says its God. She can't really make up her mind as to whether she is a Christian or a Voodoo lady it seems. Thank goodness I'm an atheist otherwise I would never be able to remain consistent either. No one can if they're religious but that's not to say that there is a lot of symbolic significance to be found in some of the morals of religion. She always told me that sometimes I had the power of these destructive storms, as much as this could be a gift, this can also be a curse, especially when you give yourself into the seductions of his powerful wind. Sometimes when she tells me this I picture myself standing on a cliff top, there's one near the summer house actually, I picture myself on top of that and just with my eyes closed swaying to the sound and movement of the wind. I look peaceful. _

~ (***) ~

Coffee making was a difficult business and very important if you were expected to get up at 6 in the morning. Some of her friends would flat-out refuse and state that it was evil. It was somewhat evil of Xigbar to force her into this routine but she could see the good intention in it all. She knew that if she didn't have it she would relapse sooner and so far, after a year of her last slip up nothing had happened it was because of the routine. What helped was caffeine. Larxene was glad that she was able to make her own coffee now. Well the same sort of coffee that Cordelia makes for her. She wanted to master it at least before she left for home. She knew that would definitely be the one thing for her to miss. She made the best coffee in the world. It was always guaranteed to do what she wanted coffee to do for her. Wake her up. No other coffee was able to do that nor did they taste as good. She made it strong, rich and aromatic. She usually liked having lots of sugar in her coffee when other people made it when she was having coffee which wasn't made by Cordelia to make up for the lack of taste, although with Cordelia's she didn't have to have that much sugar in her coffee to make up for the lack of taste. Her's had enough taste without having to have a lot of sugar.

She looked out the window and stared at the strange coloured sky for a moment and the golden sun. It was never that colour during the day. Only at sunrise and sunset. Just when it was waking up and when it was about to go to sleep. It was strange how still the house could be at the break of dawn. During the day it was so abuzz with activity that sometimes it was so difficult to slow everyone down. Namine was always doing something and Cordelia was just being Cordelia. She didn't need to be there but she knew that she would never have the heart to send her away and she knew there was no where for her to go. This was her home now as much as it was theirs. There was something peaceful about the beginning of the day when the world was yet to wake up. Larxene had to admit she was beginning to appreciate that time of day more and more as time passed her by. They seemed even more peaceful than at the end of the day when it would make more sense for it to be more calm when everything was winding down. She needed calm before a busy day. She needed to have a moment for her to be able to be with her thoughts before she would be unable to think about them at all. Then again the world could be still alive at night it would only when the sun came back after it hid under the dark cloak of the night.

She went to see her sister before she went to her training for the morning. She went up the stairs as quietly as she could so that she didn't wake anyone up. She remembered from her druggie days that there would always be a blur of parties and then screaming from Cordelia whacking her with something which would cause her to wonder why she had bruises all over herself and why she was lying at the bottom of the stairs with a wet face (Cordelia's most common and effective method of waking her up). Xigbar was getting her butt out of bed now. She poked her head around the door and saw the little angel still tucked in her warm bed. She smiled affectionately and felt a buzz from seeing his baby sister sleeping so soundlessly. She knew that if she was ever to have a child she knew this would be the feeling one would have when looking down at her own child with so much love. She wasn't even sure if she was cut out for something like that. She couldn't remember the last time she had been able to sleep without any difficulty. Even when she was a child her innocence was cut short from her father's late night visits.

She gently knocked her fists against the door and made her way downstairs. Onto training. This was a part of her getting her life back on track she supposed. If she was going to be doing this for anyone other than herself she was going to be doing this for Namine. She deserved to have a big sister to look up to. One to be proud of and tell her friends at school about. Not one for her to be embarrassed about and to actually have a reason for not wanting to see her any more. If she started lazing around too much she was going to fall right back into it again and she wasn't going to let that happen. She walked out the door and looked over her shoulder to see Cordelia watering the plants and frowned thinking, _who waters plants at 6 in the morning _and _How does she do it? _Even though she was up with her at this time in the morning but she was still amazed that she could put up with it all these years. It would drive her insane to have the job that she had if she was her. Then again Cordelia always told her that she would never be a good maid or nanny.

Larxene wasn't sure, she had a sneaky feelings, not entirely certain of it though but had a distinct hunch that she may be falling for Xigbar. Inappropriate, no? He was her 'therapist'/'trainer'. She was actually starting to go 'pro' sort of. She had done a few local fights but she hadn't entered any competitions or anything considering her drug history. She had to wait a few years to be sure and she had to go through so many tests and such. She was sure that it was just Xigbar being anxious speaking of which, she was beginning to be anxious of her growing feelings for the guy, all things considered-

"Hey you." Said a bright voice behind her.

She jumped and clutched her heart. Xigbar, was standing behind her with the keys swinging around one of his fingers. She glared at him which just made him grin more.

"You scared the shit out of me, Xig." She greeted.

"Morning to you too." He chuckled.

"Do you get a kick out of scaring me or something?"

He considered this question for a moment and shrugged his shoulders. "Don't know. Maybe I like surprising you."

As she walked in she debated whether this was him 'flirting' with her perhaps. No. He couldn't be. He was more like Clint Eastwood...which would make her Hilary Swank...Great. That wasn't a good way to start trying to solve this little predicament she had going. She didn't dare bring it up with Cordelia or Axel since she knew either one of them would hunt down Xigbar and make him more than aware of the situation which was the last thing that she wanted. She didn't want this to turn into a re-make of _Million Dollar Baby. _

"Hey I've got good news."

She started doing stretches and warm ups. She tried looking away from him as well to distract herself from what was going on downstairs. She knew that the less she seemed in love or infacuated with him the less likely he was to find out. Also she was never drinking again, or maybe not as much any more so that may reduce the chances of her ever telling him since she knew that she grew more honest and stupid the more drunk that she got.

"Oh yeah?"

"You know a few months ago I told you about that tournament for the women in the state? Well I spoke to one of the guys who was running it, he's an old buddy of mine, anyway he said that you would check out."

She blinked. "Meaning?"

"Means that you're entering your first competition little lady."

Larxene's mind went completely void. She was torn between screaming and laughing while jumping up and down like a little kid on Christmas Day. She was happy once she started boxing since she had something which made her happy and acted as a way to vent her anger. Although just the idea of it filled her with dread.

"You think I have a shot?"

He glanced over at her. "Larx, you've come further in the amount of time that I've been training and counselling you than anyone else I've...done that for..." He replied awkwardly.

"Got a way with words don't ya? How do you charm the lady's then?" She teased.

"Ha, ha. Make fun of me why don't you?" He replied dryly.

"When was the last time you were on a date?" She asked curiously.

As soon as she asked the question she instantly regretted it. She couldn't be any more obvious than she was already being. If you were asking someone about their dating history you weren't just making conversation. You asking permission of access to personal files.

"I can't remember actually. That's worrying or maybe I'm just getting old." He said with a tired look on his face.

"You're not that old, Xigbar." She assured him. "You're what thirty? Thirty-two?"

He laughed. "Thanks, Larx. Coming from you...That's actually a compliment."

She raised her hands in mock surrender. "Just trying to help."

He nodded. "I know." She looked up for a moment and gave her a genuine smile. "Thanks."

Instead of saying 'you're welcome' she asked. "So do I get my own stage name? Like 'The Italian Stallion'?"

~ (***) ~

_You can sway in one direction and sometimes you can be swayed into another direction. I think that's what she's getting at and to be honest its pretty understandable. Sometimes once you get into the sway of things and allow people to sway you in one direction when you want to go into another then that's when it gets dangerous if you have a powerful spirit. I think that's what she's scared about. I can admit from the drugs, sex and rock and roll lifestyle I've been having so far I can imagine why she's so concerned, like any other parents she wants to make sure that I'm flying in the right direction and that I'm going to be okay. Although, I don't think there's anything to be scared about when it comes to hurricanes all the time. Sometimes I like to think that I'm that powerful. I like to think that I'm indestructible. No matter how terrifying that thought may be. Is there anything wrong with wanting to be strong?_

~ (***) ~

By the time Larxene got home she was on Cloud Nine. All those anxities about all this seemed to vanish into thin air. All the things she was thinking about was the positives of the situation. If this was what it was like to be in love with someone then she could see what people meant by how good it felt. She couldn't believe it. She was going to be entered into a competition and there was going to be more time with Xigbar. It was perfect. She just had to make sure that she didn't let Cordelia or Axel found out about it. If he was going to find out he had to find out from her.

"Cordelia!" Larxene cried as she ran through the door.

She had no idea where she would be which was no wonder as to why she almost crashed into her. She would have expected there to be some hurricane comparison or reference again but she didn't really care about that sort of thing at the moment. She was just really happy that was going to be training with Xigbar for a few more weeks or even months with him. She was sure that he was coming to the point where he was going to drop her since she was 'all better' now.

"Larxene, child. You almost crash into me!" She scolded.

Larxene would have apologised or shrank back from her but she was too excited. "I have great news!"

"What is it?"

"I'm going to be entered into a competition!" She cheered. "I'm going to actually start earning some money!"

Cordelia gave her a look which in her bliss she chose to ignore since she didn't want anyone to ruin her good mood. As Cordelia should know, it had been a while since she had been in a good mood.

"For fighting? Well I suppose you might as well make a job out of something you're good at." She muttered.

"I know right?" She replied, completely oblivious to the insult. "Where's Namine?"

Larxene looked about the cupboards and then in the fridge to find something to eat. She knew that she shouldn't be snacking at this time of day and after she had done such vigorous exercise but she wanted to eat something. She just had a craving for some form of artificial, sugary product to indulge in. She had no reason to want to suddenly fatten herself a little. She just wanted to eat. Cordelia didn't allow such things in the household but she was also against wasting food, which caused a huge predicament for her to be able to get the girls to eat healthily. Then again none of them had any problems with her cooking or the recipes which she learnt from her mother and Grandmother. She just made sure that she did all the food shopping so that there would be no need for them to go out to 'get some food' for her and just get all that junk food which fills their bodies with bad 'joo-joos' as she liked to call it. It didn't mean that she was successful in that method a hundred percent of the time. Sometimes they would get bad food on their way back somewhere or would say they were going out for something else. She chose some sugary cereal which Cordelia disapproved of and poured some milk over it. After a few bites she began to hum to herself which was something she never did which of course, Cordelia picked up on and knew meant that would be a good sign for something was wrong.

"At school. You obviously have your head in the clouds." She observed. "Is there something you not telling me?"

She chewed her food a little slower than she was before as she thought about what she was going to say and she knew she had to think fast otherwise Cordelia would know what was up if she took too long in her reply. Larxene glanced up at her nanny and substitute mother of goodness-how-many-years and wondered whether she was actually justified in her actions of not telling Cordelia the truth. She wasn't lying to her but she was avoiding the truth. This was something she didn't usually do with her excluding the sexual abuse. The more she tried to think about it the more it made the idea of Cordelia seem so impersonal. She was the woman who took care of her not some person who she owed money for her services. She would never do anything like that to her. She knew that she would be disappointing so many people by doing something like that. In the eyes of Cordelia this wasn't labour but he livelihood. You couldn't just tell someone who considered their job in that way to tell them to pack up and leave. She cared about her as if she was her own child. That would make her feel especially bad about her firing Cordelia, since you could never fire a mother from being your mother. Ever.

Yet she always went on about how much she bothered her when she talked about her past antics and her ups and downs which was in her past and that was where she was determined for it to remain as well. She was just like a mother. She was just incapable of letting anything go. She always had to bring up her mistakes just to remind her of what an ass she could be. She should still remember though that she wasn't her mother. She was a domestic servant and that she was all she would ever be. That was why she couldn't figure it out why she cared so much. She was torn between feeling like she was another mother and then just another servant. It made her feel bad but at the same time she was stating a fact. Facts could sometimes be as cold as the icy waters of the Antarctic. She was so up and down about it all and people used to think she was bad... She had spent more time around addicts of every variety than an ER doctor and she probably knew more than the average one. She was worse than a regular drug addict who was shooting up every five seconds, and Larxene had seen that happen and they did go as psychotic as someone who hadn't seen that happen would expect.

Larxene shook her head. "No."

"What is it?" She demanded.

She knew she had to play it cool now that Cordelia was beginning to catch on. She knew that she had never seen her be this happy about anything. Not even when she punched someone she really hated in the face and got away with it. She knew she would always bring Axel into it if things got hard and she knew that it would be hard if one of them were brought in but both of them...

Larxene laughed. "It's nothing, Cordelia. Honestly."

She gave her a no-nonsense look. "Larxene."

Larxene sighed. She hated that it had come to this now. She knew what card she had to play now that the innocent card had failed but then again when did it work when it came to Cordelia? It looked like she had to play the 'annoyed/offended' card. She hated using this card too. It wasn't any better than the one she was using before but at least it would work as a short time method as well. When she had to act annoyed or offended by something Cordelia said it lead to an all-out feud between the two sometimes. Namine never liked them anyway and she didn't want to be distressing Namine at the moment. She beginning to think that everything was getting better and technically it was but she didn't want to go confusing her into thinking that wasn't the case. It was easy for a kid to make a lot more out of what something actually was. It took hours, days, once it even took weeks until the two would reconcile-ish. It always had to end in an apology when required as well and it was always Larxene who had to apologise, never Cordelia. Perfect Cordelia, or the adult never had to apologise because Cordelia was always right about everything and she was never to be crossed on that fact.

"Can't I be in a good mood without being interrogated?" She replied.

She watched Cordelia slowly begin to feel guilty about her actions but she wasn't exactly going to give in that easily. She never did.

"I only worry." She retorted.

Larxene rolled her eyes. "I know."

~ (***) ~

_I had a dream once about being able to fly but it was a little stranger than the typical 'I-can-fly' dreams. I hear them all the time and I think they sound so stupid yet now I'm now having one of my own. It was almost like I was surfing through the sky. Just imagine, surfing on the wind, even that sounds cool. I almost felt like I was the sky. Strange, huh? Just stretching out my fingers across that wide space which never seemed to end. I felt like I could see everywhere from the snowy Himalayas to the exotic, Pacific Isles. I wasn't entirely sure where I was, I was crossing oceans, flying over forests, mountains, cities. I was going faster than I thought would ever be possible for let alone for a plane. It was a beautiful dream at first but then something happened. At first it was a dream then it turned into a nightmare. Xigbar would probably say that this had something to do with something unresolved or some problem which I pushing further and further away. The world started crashing down on itself. It was like what you would read in the Bible about the end of the world or something. I began to panic and screamed out for it all to stop. But the more I screamed and resisted against what was happening the more the world crashed down on itself. I wanted it to stop and I looked around for someone to help. I thought about Namine, Cordelia, Axel, Xion, Marlie, Demyx, Xigbar..._

_I looked around for someone even though I always knew that there could only be one person to help me since she was always there to make things better, especially when I made a mess of things. She was always the one to tell me off as much as being the one to always pick up the pieces. She was the one who warned me that this would happen one day and now I had to find her to not only make sure that she was okay but so that I would know how to fix all of this. I looked around to no avail until the world was just a rubble. I wrapped my arms around myself wondering whether there would be anyone left in the world to comfort or blame me for all of this. Then I began to drift back to the ground and wandered amongst the wasteland. It was horrible, to see such a beautiful world to turn into this and before I thought it couldn't get any worse I saw her. She was lying in the rubble with blood running from her head like a red, dripping crown of red wine. She was staring at me as if she was still alive waiting for me to come back to her. I wanted to cry but I didn't know how to. I had forgotten how to cry and then her arm slowly began to rise and she pointed at me. She said nothing, her mouth was moving but I couldn't hear what she was saying to me. Anyway I knew it was something that I knew all along. _

~ (***) ~

Larxene waited into the cafe for Axel to arrive. He called her the day before after she finished her training out of the blue and asked to meet up with her. It had been a while since she had seen her best friend and he was right the day before, they needed to see one another more. Although she had a feeling it had something to do with something Cordelia would have said. She knew that if she wasn't going to get it out of her, Axel would. She saw him saunter through the door and beamed at him.

"Well hello there Beautiful." He greeted charmingly.

"Why hello there handsome." She returned brightly.

He simply gave her a look and blinked. "Okay. What's changed?"

Now he was making it too obvious as to why he was here. In fact it was even insulting how obvious he was making it. He might as well have worn a neon coloured shirt saying 'We need to talk' in capital letters.

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean is what Cordelia was talking to me about a few days ago. To be frank, I thought she was freaking out as she usually does but now I see that there is something up and to be honest I would prefer you to tell me right now." He said firmly.

"Axel. I'm just in a good mood." She assured him tiredly.

"Er...for someone like you when you find out you've been entered into a state tournament doesn't mean that you start acting like you're on top of the world."

"Okay..." She took in a deep breath. "I think...I...I think I might..."

"Oh spit it out woman." He cried so loudly some customers turned around to look at them.

"I think I might have a thing for Xigbar...I might...Like him."

Axel gave her a look. "Like him? As in...'like' him?"

She nodded wordlessly. He leaned back in his chair giving her look which told her something which she already knew. She couldn't even look at him when she told him this but she didn't need to look at him to know what he was thinking. She could always clearly know what he was thinking just from looking at the expression on his face but then again Axel always wanted to make it perfectly clear to people what he was thinking. She could make a pretty good guess as to what he was thinking about at that moment. _You idiot._ She would be making a huge mistake in sleeping with the guy carelessly and with no strings attached. But she was making an even bigger mess in falling for him. She was there to get better, not to get herself a boyfriend. Plus he had met Xigbar. He was even more butch than Larxene (if that was even possible) but he was ten times friendlier than she was. In fact, he could even do better than her. He also didn't bother saying anything because words were never Larxene's strong point nor did they mean anything to Larxene. It was always better to communicate something to her via looks or gestures. She was able to understood that form of significance better than actual words. And the look was telling her that she was screwed unless she did something about this.

~ (***) ~

_I'm scared more of the time than people think. I've been scared to tell everyone the truth about what was happening and what happened between me and my father. I've been afraid of admitting to myself that I should have a right to treating myself and my body than I should be. I've been afraid of wanting to be happy, mostly because I didn't think I deserved it. After all, I had gone druggie and party-animal on my own little sister when I should have spent most of my time looking after her. I've just been messing everything up and now I'm left with that wasteland of rubble. I was looking for Cordelia to help me but now I have to be the one to pick up the pieces, not her. That's what happens when there's a hurricane, its because there's turmoil between what you want and what you need. But I don't want to be afraid any more. I don't want to be scared of the power which I might have hovering inside me. Sometimes such power can be used for something good and productive. Something which can make your life better for you and the people in it. The worst thing you can do when you have such power anyway is to be afraid of it. I'm sure even Cordelia would agree to that. You just had to have the right balance of fear and acceptance. _

~ (***) ~

Larxene glanced up at Xigbar nervously, just waiting for him to ask her what was wrong. That was the problem with getting a crush on a guy with unbelievable levels of intuition. You were never going to be able avoid having the conversation. He would probably presume it to be something post-addict related rather than anything else. If only it was something like that...She rubbed her hands together and could feel sweat there. She was getting nervous now. She could actually start feeling the pressure of telling him the truth. Not just because she was about to have her first fight but now she knew that from all sides people were pressuring her into doing something about this 'new found' attraction to her personal trainer/counsellor. She glanced over at him and thought about whether she was doing the right thing in telling him the truth about her feelings for him. She was getting looks from Cordelia the other day which only meant that only did she know but she wanted her to settle this matter soon otherwise she would march down to the gym and sort out herself. She knew she would and the only way of sorting it out was venting but Xigbar was there when she was venting. She knew that she would probably punch him in the face if she started venting. She had to tell him. As painful and disastrous as it would be, she would have to tell him.

"Xig..." She began, before she could continue he cut in with a-

"What's wrong?" He made his way towards her with his hands in his pockets and no-nonsense look. "Come on, out with it."

She rolled her eyes. She hated it when he was so straight-forward. No, that was one of the things that she liked about him. He was all about no-bullshit. That was why she loved him. She loved him that in spite of that he was still kind, caring and would listen. All the things her father wasn't.

"I..." She sighed. "I think...I've been beginning to have feelings for you." She said finally.

She just wanted a hole to appear and swallow her up. She sounded sadder than she thought she would sound. She was going to be all cool about it but now she was beginning to sound like him. He just stared back at her blankly, she could see he was slowly letting this process through his mind and think of a way to respond or maybe deal with this.

"Okay." He replied huskily. "I...I was thinking it would probably be something else rather than...Larx I'm your counsellor its very inappropriate to-"

"I know." She almost snapped. "I know." She added a little more gently. "I just want to be honest with you. I thought you should probably be entitled to that."

He nodded. "Thank you. I just think...I don't know what to think. I'm much older than you, Larxene."

She smiled. Now he was just making excuses. That was understandable, he was in a really awkward position at the moment. He could get in a lot of trouble if not with the therapy place but with the press if it was found out a trainer was in a relationship with Larxene.

"You're only seven years older than me." She replied. "I broke into the filing room." She explained.

He gave a mock-disapproving look. "Larxene..."

She smirked to herself, maybe now was the best time to tell him. After all, he would need to know about these things...

"I've chosen myself a stage name."

He raised an eyebrow. He was going to allow her to briefly change the subject. "Yes?"

"Hurricane Jane."

He gave her a look which told her that she should be concerned. Whenever he had this look on his face it was somewhere mixed with surprise and 'oh dear'.

"Hurricane Jane?"

"What? You don't think its good?"

He shook his head. "No...I think it suits you perfectly."

She beamed at him for the first time that day and for a moment she saw something there. She saw a spark of something in his expression which she imagined someone looked like after the aftermath.

~ (***) ~

_Hurricanes, most of the time, are associated with destruction and loss. Although I don't think they can all be that bad. Sometimes you have to lose something in order to realise what you have. Or something like that. Maybe its better to lose a lot in order to find what you're supposed to have in your life or to be able to realise the person you're supposed to be. There's something almost cleansing about the idea of swiping the slate clean so ruthlessly. With someone such as myself I think that's exactly what the doctor ordered. You have to baptise yourself in the fire in order to be full-clean of all those bad things you don't need but desperately hang onto. I can't see why there has to be anything bad about being a hurricane. Someone's got to be the destructive one in order to make sure that the cycle remains in place. If there's nothing to cultivate or re-grow then everything will come to a halt and there will be no point in it all any more. I would much rather be a hurricane than a breeze. I know Namine is more of a breeze but then again she would crash and burn if she tried to be a hurricane. She wouldn't be able to survive it. I hate to say this but she's not a survivor and she doesn't have to be. I'm never one to aimlessly wander but to storm everywhere and make my presence known. I suppose I like the idea of being able to leave a trial for someone else to follow._


End file.
